I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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