Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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