It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
