I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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