I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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