rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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