there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
