Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
