You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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