Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
