He is an equal opportunity slut.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
