you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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