I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
