At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
