Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
