there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
