somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
