Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
