They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have fence marks all over my body
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
