Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
