Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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