I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
