Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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