Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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