i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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