Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
