Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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