I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
honey bunches of taint.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
