drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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