Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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