i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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