Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
