I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
