The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I skipped work to stalk him.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
