I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
