Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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