based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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