You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
