You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
