how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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