I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
