Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
