is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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