I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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