there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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