oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just high enough for therapy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
