he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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