just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
