Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
