Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my poor anus
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
