you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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