Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
